This week I’ve had to write two condolence cards for people who have lost their partners.
I found myself asking “What is the best thing to write in a condolence card?”
This blog is all about providing you with a range of options for sympathy cards (and gifts) should you find yourself in the position of supporting someone who has lost a loved one.
I find writing condolence cards hard. You never really know what to write – and the reality is every circumstance if different. So you need to put in a decent amount of thought before you charge in with a generic message and pop it in the post box.
Taking just that little bit more time to think about the right thing to say can make all the difference to the recipient. And just in case you’re wondering…flicking them a quick email saying ‘sorry about your dad’ isn’t going to cut it.
In preparation for this blog I’ve been doing some research to see what’s available. There are quite a few good online resources.
Some particularly good sites are:
- www.condolencemessages.net
- www.quickcondolence.com/200-condolence-examples
- www.sympathymessageideas.com/
Key points I have found are:
1. Keep the message short and simple – these can be the most effective.
2. Try to mention a fond memory or short story if you think this would be useful.
3. Don’t compare their loss to something you’ve experienced. Everyone’s experience is different and comparing can be unhelpful.
4. Never mention anything about money the person or family may owe to you. There is a time and a place and a sympathy card is neither the time nor the place.
5. If you can, then offer the opportunity to assist the family in some way (and make sure you follow through). Whether it be helping out with meals, babysitting children so the adults have time to grieve, preparing some meals to take around so the family doesn’t need to worry about organising dinner for family and friends that may visit, every bit helps.
- A good option I’ve found is www.angeldelivery.co.nz. Angel Delivery offer care packages that you can send to friends or family who may need some extra support.
- Another good option is cupcakes – these make a lovely sympathy gift. A box of cupcakes can really brighten someone’s day even during a difficult time. They can also be more memorable than flowers.
But sometimes the best thing to say is to not send a card – but to show the person you care by being there for them.
It means so much more to someone if you can just take time out of your day to pop around, give them a hug, make them a cup of tea and let them know you are here for them.
